★ If Browsers were Batman Villains
August 2nd, 2011 | by Patrick Cox | Published in Design, Development | 6 Comments
Okay, this post is really just for giggles. Nothing real important or meaningful here, just something I thought about. I was just debugging IE and I thought, ‘IE is The Joker!’ Then I started thinking about how other browsers were Batman villains and I realized some very astonishing coincidences.
The Joker
Think about it, IE is one of the original browsers and its reign of terror continues even to this day. Just as The Joker is a sadistic clown hell bent on nihilism and a freakish desire to control Gotham, IE is hell bent on rejecting web standards an freakishly controlling the internet. No matter how much Batman (the web designer) tried to kill The Joker he never can, he just continues to spare The Jokers life and lock him up in Arkham where he just gets crazier and crazier… just like IE seems to get buggier and buggier with every new version.
Just like The Joker, IE’s weird popularity will make it an eternal villain for the web designer and they will always have to deal with its insanity. Every time a designer creates something beautiful for the world to see, IE will pop its crazy, grinning face up and try to destroy it for no better reason than to be annoying.
Two-Face
If IE is The Joker than FireFox has got to be Two-Face. Before Two-Face became tragically scarred and mentally unstable, he was a Gotham D.A. and trusted ally to Batman. Then after a horrible accident left half his face mutilated he went nuts and as now an enemy to Batman. Two-Face is unstable and manic and cannot be trusted although Batman will forever feel sorry for his decent into madness.
FireFox used to be a trusted friend of the web designer, but just like Two-Face has descended down in the rabbit hole of madness. FireFox was the original modern browser until tragically Chrome spilled chemicals all over its face and now its in a desperate search to compete with the villainy of Chrome – or something like that, but you get the point.
Poison Ivy and The Penguin
Safari is Poison Ivy. Its been genetically engineered to be powerful and quick and it attempts to manipulate every Mac, iPod, iPhone and iPad user on the planet through its pretty and persuasive methods. Safari is not so much a villain to the web designer, its more like a love/hate relationship, much like the relationship Batman shares with Poison Ivy where more often she is an ally to Batman.
Opera, every bodies favorite little brother browser has got to be The Penguin. The Penguin is not naturally a great villain, but he sure tries really hard. He is sort of the forgotten villain that pops up every now and again mostly just to get int the way. Batman is mostly annoyed by The Penguin along with most of the other villains, but he’s always there trying really hard to make a name for himself but never can, just like Opera.
The Riddler
The Riddler, as far as the Batman story is concerned, is a cool idea for a villain but he’s never really had an opportunity to shine. The Riddler has a severe compulsion to annoy Batman with games and puzzles that have very little substance.
He is always trying to trick Batman into thinking he is a real foe, but is never quite successful at accomplishing the task. The Riddler is forgettable and Batman mainly views him an annoyance when he manages to show up every once in a blue moon - just like Konqueror.
Bane
The real villain to Batman has got to be the one who has destroyed him most, the one who broke Batman – Bane. Bane is strong, fast, wicked smart and always one step ahead of Batman. When Bane broke Batman’s spine, he was forced to expose his alter ego Bruce Wayne. If Chrome were a Batman villain it would easily be Bane.
Chrome is the fastest, most powerful browser currently battling the web designer. Its constantly forcing the designer out of his/her comfort zone as it stays technologically one step ahead. Chrome will also expose a web designers weakness’ and push the designer to be better at their profession. Designing in chrome (unlike any other browser) will always teach us something about ourselves as designers, hell most of the time when designing in Chrome I have discovered what CSS properties are supposed to do.
August 26th, 2011at 4:47 am(#)
I think u expose all the things more than real and in a scary way i every time play with all only IE problematic for me and the others are rarely sometime.
I think this the difference between ur battlefield and my battlefield or work style.
August 28th, 2011at 8:49 pm(#)
This is great. Make me laugh so hard Poison ivy is Safari is the best. I used Safari for a long time but then discovered Chrome. I only develop in Chrome now.
August 28th, 2011at 8:52 pm(#)
I think you should change Two-Face to Scarecrow cause Firefox is really starting to scare me!
August 29th, 2011at 2:34 pm(#)
I think chrome is really cool browser to play with and i totally agree it has helped us to know what CSS code really do :P
September 11th, 2011at 9:16 pm(#)
Uh, Patrick, I love the article, but you need to double check your Batman-lore. Poison Ivy and Batman never worked together or had a love/hate relationship. It was always more of a hate/hate/hate/QUIT-KILLING-MY-PLANTS type of deal. Catwoman was an ally on a regular basis though. I can see Safari as Catwoman. Sleek, powerful, purrs when happy, but watch out for the claws!
September 11th, 2011at 9:53 pm(#)
Jason-
FireFox is really starting to scare people, but FF6 has been doing pretty well for me so far, so we’ll keep it Two-Face.
Dave- I guess it all depends on what Batman story you follow. But you might be right, Catwoman may be a better fit for Safari – actually, Poison Ivy and Catwoman are probably interchangeable too.